Moving On, Moving Up

Grant and Bailey graduated from Preschool on Tuesday.

For years I have heard social commentators describe the foibles of extravagance and too much praise for children in our modern world. They have described overdone preschool graduation ceremonies and overly dramatic rituals for children moving from second to third grade. Cynics are quick to suggest elaborate ceremonies for your toddler when she moves from a sippy cup to a regular plastic glass or multiple gift possibilities for your eight year old when you put away the car booster seat. I must admit that its easy for me to fall for the smug criticisms the cynics express.

But not this time. Oh yes, like every critic of the soccer mom culture I can honestly say the first graduation ceremony I ever took part in was when I finished high school and I turned out just fine. (The old, "If I didn't do it, why do they need to?') But after Tuesday I understand that that doesn't matter. It was a great night. And not so much because my five-year-olds deserve all kinds of gifts and accolades, but because the graduation was a formal chance for them (and more importantly for us parents) to come together and acknowledge that time and life is moving on.

A period of my twins' lives has come to a conclusion and a graduation ceremony in miniature is a better way to live this change out than to simply yell out "good bye" to their teachers as you drive them way on the last day of school.

I have vivid memories of three significant last days in my childhood. In 1984 my family moved from Milwaukee to Michigan. I remember to this day the smells and sights of the Madison Elementary School hallways when I knew it was my last day to be there. I was in sixth grade then, and only four months later I was saying good bye once again to my new school, Kennedy, because next year I would be in middle school. There was no graduation, but there was me and some of my new friends sitting near a jungle gym for the last time. I was very much aware that most of those friends would be going to a different school for seventh grade than I was, which lent itself to the melancholy feeling of that day. It's a feeling I have not forgotten.

I had those same feelings two years later when I completed eighth grade. Once again most of my friends would be going to a different high school and experience told me that I would never see most of them again. On the last day of school they played "I Believe the Children are our Future (Greatest Love of All)" by Whitney Houston throughout the school as we walked to our buses for the last time. That was our graduation.

Milestones are important. We should honor those occasions with caring and love. Maybe the best way to do that is with a graduation. It sure seemed to work on Tuesday. Ceremony and ritual are excellent ways to mark the passing of time within community. The cynics and grouches are wrong this time. It is better to honor than to ignore. It is better to share than to stand alone.

Even adults can benefit from connecting ritual and ceremony with important milestones. How have others been able to honor significant events and changes in your life?

TV: The Babysitter

While my wife Valerie was pregnant with our twins we often discussed how much television we would allow our children to watch. Our desire was to not have them watch any TV until they were two. Desire did not, however, resemble reality. Well before they were two my kids began watching the likes of Dora, Blue's Clues, and Sesame Street. Now that they are five we have drawn new battlelines by trying to keep them away from Sponge Bob and Fairly OddParents.

Recently an American Academy of Pediatrics survey came out that indicated that 75% of children ages 6 months to 6 years watch television on a typical day. In fact 18% of babies under two years old even have a TV in their nursery, watching on average 75 minutes of television a day.

Being a parent of three kids five and under, I can understand how helpful television can be. It's a blessing to be able to put on Dragontales or Clifford at a particularly hairy time of the day to calm the kids down. And it's neat to see them actually learn a thing or two from some shows that are well done. But none of my kids have a TV in their room, and we have no plans to change that anytime soon. Yes I have a TV in my office I never use, but there is no way I'm going to be putting it in one of my kid's rooms.

As I wrote a month ago, there are times I would like to just put on a ballgame and send the kids to their room with their TV babysitter, but I just don't think that's right. As a parent I feel it is my responsibility to see what my kids are watching... and when we accidentally let Nick and Disney stay on a little too long as those channels switch from preschool mode to "Teen" mode, I know about it and can change the channel or turn it off.

There are so many voices in this world competing for our children. Companies are spending millions of dollars trying to get their products in front of our kids, even our 2 and 3 year-olds. Having a TV in your preschooler's bedroom only makes it easier for them to get their gospel of want and spend into their young minds. It's tough to raise your kids right. So give yourself a parenting advantage by keeping the TV in the family room and keeping the bedrooms for creative play and sleep.

This Place is a Zoo

I took the kids to the Lincoln Park Zoo on Sunday. It was a beautiful day for walking around, taking in the sights and seeing the animals. The highlight for the kids was watching the King of the Jungle standing and sitting high on top of a rock in the lion exhibit. It drew quite a crowd. Kinda like a scene from the movie Madagascar.

For me the most impressive animal at the zoo that Sunday was the human animal. In the couple of hours we were there we encountered families of many different races and nationalities speaking a wide variety of languages. To go with English I heard Spanish, German, Polish, Arabic and Chinese (or at least I think it was Chinese.) At times my kids were playing in the Children's Zoo area with kids who spoke English, but understood completely when their mother said "let's get going" in Spanish (or at least I think she said "let's get going.") It was the same way later on with a family which spoke Arabic.

The variety of people and cultures that can be found around the globe are too numerous to number completely. And you know what... they were all created by God. We live in a time of great tension and too many wars. Our natural instinct is to not trust one another. But on this day, in a zoo, we all spoke the same languages of family, togetherness, and a love for the nature God has blessed us with.

Sunday gave me hope. In God's good world, among God's children, there is hope for peace.

Ahhhh... Opening Day

It's so great that Opening Day of the baseball season falls on my day off. I managed to watch most of the Indians/Sox game this afternoon with Grant and Preston. Preston seemed more interested than Grant. Grant doesn't like fireworks at ballgames so he wasn't too thrilled to hear that the White Sox invented fireworks at ballgames. I also got to watch portions of the Twins/Orioles and now the Rangers/Angels game. What a great day. I barely noticed it was nice outside.

Former Tigers announcer, Hall-of-famer, Ernie Harwell used to begin the first radio broadcast of the Tigers season with a famous reading for any baseball fan in Michigan.

For the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth;
The time of the song of the birds has come,
And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

The quote is Song of Solomon 2:11-12 and was Ernie's way of expressing the movement of time and constancy of God's presence. Every year the winter passes and for us in the Midwest. The melting snow and the first 60 degree days remind us that life moves on and there is always hope as we look ahead. For Harwell, and for me, baseball is as much a reminder of that hope as the flowers, the birds, and that wonderful "voice of the turtle." Just look at today for example: There is hope for the Royals and Brewers who are now 1-0. There is hope for the Indians who blasted the Sox. There is even hope for the Cubs, after all they are only one game out of first.

There is hope! No matter where we have been there is hope. Family, friends, the coming of spring, and the clean slate of the baseball standings all remind us of that hope. It's fitting that baseball should begin as we prepare for the coming Easter feast.

Hope and Joy for Today

Hope and Joy for Today

I watched the movie Children of Men last night. It takes place in Britain, twenty years in the future. The twist in this work of science fiction is that no baby has been born anywhere in the whole world for over eighteen years.

What happens in a world with no children? What happens when you believe that you and the people around you will be the last humans to ever exist? As you can imagine the world of 2027 is a horrible place in this movie. Graffiti in the background at one point in the movie expressed this: "The last one to die please turn off the light."

There was a particularly touching scene for me when two of the characters hide out for a moment in a rundown, abandoned building. It doesn't take long to notice that the building had once been a school for children. But now in 2027 it is only some deer and other creatures of the wild walk those halls.

What role do children play in our world and in our lives? Being a parent has been a big challenge for me. Jesus teaches us that true joy in life comes from selfless service toward others... well, nothing forces you to become a selfless servant faster than becoming a dad or mom. Here's an example: On Monday the baseball season begins when the Indians play the White Sox at 1:00. In a previous life I would have popped some corn, got my scorecard ready, and enjoyed three hours in peace focusing completely on that game. Being a dad will not allow me to have such a selfish indulgence. Sure I'll watch the game, at least some of it, but there is no way I'll be able to keep score. I'm a dad and my kids will need me. I understand that, sometimes resent it, but thankfully in times of deep awareness I do realize that its so cool.

It is a blessing that we live in a world with children. I had a moment this morning when I got to watch my son Grant playing outside my office window for a few seconds as his class was coming in from recess. Unlike the school in Children of Men the walls of this preschool contain life that is more than just a stray family of deer. This afternoon I sat with my daughter Bailey as she took a hearing test. She must have raised her hand four or five dozen times after hearing that faint "beep" in her headphones. As I was looking in her eyes I felt great love for her. And that's not all, I had another occasion for joy when I came home for lunch only to find my youngest son, Preston, wearing a cute Spiderman costume. He was so proud of himself.

What a horrible future it would be without children. Children have made my present a time of great joy and great hope. They are our future and praise be to God, children are our present as well.

A Fish Out of Water

Have you ever felt like Chevy Chase? Me neither. Well... that was until Sunday. Valerie and I took the kids for a drive Sunday afternoon around Chicago. (I think I can live here for 40 years and never tire of seeing the impressive Chicago skyline as you approach the city. Since last summer we have often taken the kids to the city for a drive.) On this drive we found ourselves cruising around the North Side, ending up in an area called Wicker Park. I wanted to check out a pizza place I had read about in the Tribune. Amazingly, we found a close parking space on North Ave so we could park the SUV and drag the kids out for a bite to eat.

Of course there was hustle and bustle all over the city since it was Sunday, a beautiful spring day, and a good chance for residents to enjoy life. In the pizza place there were tables with college students and singles just taking it easy. Outside young couples were walking by on the sidewalk. Two or three women were walking their dogs. And they all looked modern, young, and stylish. Even the people who were scruffy seemed to look that way as a fashion choice. On-the-other-hand, the Dusso family looked like transplants from suburbia. It was not our choice to look scruffy. Picture this: the SUV, the noisy kids, my toddler running circles around pizza joint, and the young, urban, artistic professionals either looking at us funny or at least attempting to ignore us. See what I mean by Chevy Chase.

You know what though... it was fun. And the people working at the place where nice. After all this is Chicago and not New York. Yeah my family may fit in better at a suburban mall than walking around a hip and trendy urban neighborhood, but I'm always up for an adventure.

Christians should have experiences like this when it comes to faith, feeling like the Apostle Paul instead of Chevy Chase. Get out of the fishbowl and into the world. Bring the love of Christ into all the places you go through your outstretched arm, listening ear, and caring heart. It might feel odd at first, but when you look back you will be glad you went.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

I've often wondered why so many of the non-Jesus related Christmas songs get packed away with the rest of the lights, decorations, and tinsel on December 26. Winter has only just begun. "Winter Wonderland," "The Sleigh Ride," and "Let It Snow" should stick around until at least the first spring training baseball games in Arizona. This is especially true for the song "Let It Snow."

Today is Valentine's Day. It is also the second day in a row that schools have been closed because of a blizzard. It's time we start bringing together the idea of snow and Valentines. At first the two would seem like an unhappy couple. Snow is cold and icy while Valentines are hot and spicy. But songs like "Let it Snow" remind us just how snow and Valentines can work so well together. Take a look at these lyrics:

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
And I've bought some corn for popping,
The lights are turned way down low,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight,
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight,
All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,
And, my dear, we're still good-bying.
But as long as you love me so,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow

Now if that doesn't describe the way a Valentine's Day ought to be, I don't know what does. So I will now declare "Let It Snow" the unofficial first Valentine's Day Carol. A little bit of "Let It Snow" mixed in with the chocolate, roses, and Hallmarks of Valentine's Day fits perfectly. You can't beat popcorn and an excuse to stay in with your Love. Snow days provide the perfect opportunity to put the hustle of the world behind you and focus, at least for one night, on the partner God has blessed you with.

Genesis 2 reminds us that God created humans to have a partner. Like Sam sang in Casablanca: "Woman needs man and a man must have his mate. That no one can deny." Come to think of it, let's make "As Time Goes By" the second unofficial Valentine's Day Carol.

My wife is the greatest blessing of my life. Let's put the kids to bed and let it snow. Thank you, Lord.

Sick, Yet Still Thankful

It just had to happen. You know how it works. Murphy's law... the credo of pessimists all over the world. If something bad can happen, it will happen. But why did Murphy have to stick his foot into my Thanksgiving?

For weeks we have been planning a Thanksgiving family day with Valerie's parents coming into town and my aunt driving down from Wisconsin. But Murphy had some others ideas. On Tuesday everyone in my house got sick, from my little Preston to Pop pop. Wednesday became a day of lounging, laziness, sleeping, and trips to the toilet. Our Thanksgiving plans seemed ruined.

In the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, Jesus speaks about God who provides for our every need. If God takes care of birds and flowers, God certainly will take care of you. So why worry? Murphy and his band of pessimists say life should be nothing but worry. But for those who live by faith, worry can be thrown in the trash can so that God's blessings in life can be enjoyed.

Thanksgiving is ruined? Not if I look at my family and recognize just how blessed i am. Not if stand in awe of all that God has planned for me, this despite my own failings. Truly I am thankful to the Lord.

So no this Thanksgiving is not ruined. Most of us are feeling better so the turkey is in the oven. My aunt is on the way down. And I am surrounded by my loving family and my loving God. "Seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." (Matthew 6:33-34a)

Thank you God!